Glimpse of a Flower's Quickly Fading - Holly Cynth - Official Website

I'm a nurse by profession BUT A WRITER BY HEART. Everyone wants to be writer but not everyone can come up with a brilliant masterpiece. I can only write about personal stuffs, my point of view!

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YOU Had Me At HELLO

Posted on July 9, 2012 at 10:55 PM Comments comments (0)

HE SAW YOU

-waved hi/hello and you waved back

HE MET YOU

-said, "I'm ______ and you are?" (While he gave you a handshake)

You replied back and you received the handshake.

HE WANTED YOU

-said, "I want to know you better. Do you like to go out sometime?"

You replied back, "Sure! I want to know more about you too!"

HE LIKED YOU

-said, "I had only figured it out up to, I like you!"

You replied back, "Listen...I think I like you too!"

HE CHASED YOU

-sent you your favorite flower with a dozen, chocolates, love letters, gifts, treated you to fancy restaurants, said every pick up lines he knows, made you laugh, made you feel you two are meant to be, made you believe in love and forever, did everything to please you, etcetera...etcetera... You believed!

HE GOT YOU

-said, "Hey look, uhmm...We've been exclusively dating for like months now...Will you be my girlfriend?"

You blushed and had butterflies, finally replied back, "YES!"

HE HAD YOU

-had your first hug, first kiss, first touch...all your first as a couple

HE LOVED YOU

-said, "I love you and always will. I won't hurt you, won't make you cry, won't cheat on you, won't lie. I promise! Please stay with me, don't go away 'cause I don't think I can still go on without you in my life."

You believed for the nth time and replied back, "I love you more than anything in this world. I won't leave you. I promise to love no one except you with all my heart and soul."

HE GOT BORED

-had small and big fights, had misunderstandings...You got jealous too easily, you were too possessive, you never entertain new people, lost your friends because you  lived in a world where there's only "ME and YOU"

Months, years passed by and everything between the two of you was confusing and screwing up. He was sick and tired of all the dramas.

HE LEFT

-he met somebody new and offered his love to that new one. You got hurt, your heart was torn into pieces. You didn't know what to do. Eventually, he gave up on you. Now, he's just only a dream and he's gone.

Think P! Think Pink! Think Positively!

Posted on June 18, 2012 at 2:35 PM Comments comments (0)

As I closed my eyes tonight, I think of a better future to come on tomorrow. Many things are wrapping on my mind now. What will happen tomorrow? What other trouble would come? Afraid to wake up and face the day ahead, but I'm determined that everything would be alright.  Would embrace the morning like embracing my goals and dreams. Some are out of my control but others are still in my hands. I would always make a lot of effort, even when the odds seem entirely against me. I would never quit trying and I would always think positive! I would never feel that I don't have a chance to succeed.

I Would B+ Starting Today!

Posted on June 18, 2012 at 2:20 PM Comments comments (0)

I've been reading blogs about the life and experiences of people to learn from. It's weird that I get interested to learn how to be positive. Maybe bacause I've been so negative for years now.

When I was a kid and there was nothing much too worry, I see life in a positive way. But when I was growing and things were getting though, there were peer pressures, school and family issues, social problems, immature relationships, etc... I changed a lot. I became negative at times. Changes are not good at all times. I tried to think positively but sometimes I fail to. My negativity lasted for years and I realized it's ruining my relationship with other people.

So, I decided to bring back the old me. The positive person I was. I want to see life in a different way. I want to save my relationship with others. Starting today, I'm being positive again!

#10WorstFeelings

Posted on June 18, 2012 at 11:50 AM Comments comments (0)

My 10 Worst Feelings

1. Having a fight with boyfriend at night and sleeping with unresolved issues.

2. Waiting for his reply for like a decade!

3. Waiting for someone's text, my phone vibrates only to find out that it's nonesense

4. Receiving group messages and when they send twice or thrice

5. My boyfriend makes me feel that I'm taken for granted!

6. Being deceived and cheated on

7. Breaking my trust

8. Breaking my heart

9. Being hopeless

10. Waiting for nothing

Suffering in Silence

Posted on June 18, 2012 at 2:35 AM Comments comments (0)

      I’m envious of everyone around me and I want to get a life. Why has my life turned out like this? What have I done wrong? Have I been cursed? I do think there are people in worse situations but everyone around me has a better life. I’m trying so hard to live my life to the fullest even if I couldn’t be a party animal as others could. To find someone to care for, someone who’d care for me, someone who’d commit and would rather make the relationship public to let everyone know that he’s mine and I am his. I have a boyfriend but we have a lot of misunderstandings,he always do things I hate. Nothing seems to be working. I’m always going through phases of my life thinking that someday everything would fall into places and would turn out well. All I have is false hope. I’m just going through the motions and the screwed up part is I want to live up my teenage years, do crazy stuffs, and be irresponsible. I know it’s stupid but I missed that part of growing up.

      I'm afraid that I’m gonna spend my life completely alone. Right now, I have a lot of people in my life, my friends and family, but I’m not truly connected to any of them. My family is not as close as we once were. And sadly, I feel like a stranger now to them, my family. I live with them but no one even care to ask about my personal life. I feel as if I am only staying at a strange house everyday.

      Someone used to be a good friend just walked away all of a sudden without giving a single word, he was a best friend to me, and shortly after disappearing, I get back with an ex and had a lot of small fights that are leading almost to break-up. When I’m feeling depressed or mad and I think if I just talk to someone I would feel better and I pick up the phone to call someone, I look through my phonebook and there’s no one I would call. There’s no one in this world I would trust with my feelings. No one I would completely share myself with. And no matter how hard I try, I just can’t bring myself to trust anyone. Not my family, not my friends, no one.Then I realized I have no one left, I am truly alone. Most of my friends are gone, and I can't find anyone to talk to.

      I feel so lonely and empty inside, and it's killing me. People who never felt this degree of loneliness could never understand. I confess that at times I think of just going off somewhere far away and putting myself to sleep for good. I wish I could just sleep now, and never wake up again to a society so cruel and cold. I suffer in silence with this pain in my heart, and my spirit is shadowed by a darkened cloud that no longer knows the beauty and sunshine of life's happiness as it once did before. Each day I live a lie, I smile and laugh with others, but at the end of the day I feel defeated and lost. I have cried so many times, I actually can't cry anymore. I'm just too tired to cry. Forgive me for sounding pathetic, but sadly, it's the case now within this life of mine. I know what cold feels like, but lately, there is a type of cold feeling that embraces me, a type of cold that I have never felt before. It's eerie and just creepy. And I can't help but to think that maybe it's death who awaits me, sitting near me, waiting for me to put myself down. I'm not a suicidal type of human.

 

7 Lovely Logics

Posted on June 18, 2012 at 2:10 AM Comments comments (1)

I have seen these 7 Lovely Logics and here's my own review about them.

1. Make peace with your past so it doesn't spoil your present.

      - It's always nice to close doors with tranquility. If you are ending a relationship with someone, always talk things over and reconcile so the two of you can move on with peace in the heart and mind. No bitterness, you can always restore the friendship and companionship even if you could no longer be together again. So you can be happy for each other even if you both find someone else to love for the rest of your life.

2. What others think of you is none of your business.

      -  Never mind what people say about you, instead prove them wrong and let them eat what they say. What's more important is that you play the game of life right and just. Go on with what you think could make you at top of them, but be humble still. Don't step down to their low levels. Just put your head up high. Someday, they would be sorry about themselves that you're way successful than they are.

3. Time heals almost everything. Give the time, some time.

      - Everything has the right time, don't be too excited. Don't push yourself to heal immediately. Always take your time. One day, all the waiting is worth it.

4. No one is the reason of your happiness except you yourself.

      - Don't blame others for hurting you. That's a part of experiences and learnings in life. If you want to be happy, you can make it. Don't depend on others. Sometimes, all you need is just yourself, you don't need others.

5. Don't compare your life with others. You have no idea what's their journey is all about.

      - Every person has a story behind that nobody knows. Maybe they get a better life than you are or maybe you have a better life than they are. Whatever the case is, do not ever compare yours to theirs. Every person fights a battle and so are you. The outcome of the battle is up to you on how you handle the challenges in your life.

6. Stop thinking too much, it's alright not to know all the answers.

      - This one strikes me 'cause this is my weakness. I think too much. Now, I realized that it's true it's alright not to know all the answers. Sometimes, you just have to be blind and deaf to save a relationship. 'Cause when you think too much and you let your mind plays and imagines stuffs that are not real, it might ruin a relationship. My mind plays too much and I think of negative things, I almost lose the most important person in my life. Good thing and thank God, I figured it out before it's too late.

7. Smile, you don't own all the problems in the world.

      - As they say, smile and the world smiles with you. Cry and you cry alone. Whenever you are in trouble, smile to always attract good vibes.

The Last Love Letter

Posted on June 17, 2012 at 3:40 PM Comments comments (0)

Daddy,

            I just want you to know how sorry I am about these past few days. I know you’re too much tired of me that I keep on saying this word “sorry.” I know I’ve acted so weird and I messed up a lot. I can’t close my eyes tonight without you knowing how much I miss you and I love you. You know that I lie awake at night with only one reason, which is thinking about you. Gathering some words on how to apologize, but I guess words aren’t enough. Sometimes, you may not understand me and so am I to you. Sometimes, you may feel worthless and so am I. Sometimes, you feel so bad and upset and so am I. But why can’t we help each other then and patch things up? I hate this feeling of emptiness when we’re not in good terms. I feel so guilty. I don’t want to hurt you, no; I don’t want this to happen. Sometimes, you may feel that I don’t care about you. Why is that when all that matters to me is you? Daddy, it’s you. It’s always been you. I hope you know that. I promise to patch things up and make it up to you. I hope it’s never too late for both of us.

So, I’ll see you then at my tree house in the afternoon? I’ll wait for you there ‘til sunset. If you won’t come to see me, I know what it means and I’ll try my hardest to accept you don’t want me no more.  Just always remember that I love you so and I’ll always be your angel.

Mommy

 

Lyle was going to the tree house hoping he could see Hailey  in there. Lyle stayed at the tree house listening to their theme song over and over again ‘til sunset. Hailey never showed up so he decided to just go home and because he felt something strange. The wind was very different. He thought a typhoon was coming. Lyle went home that night with a broken heart and hopeless. He reached home and he saw her mother in tears and sobbing. He hugged her to make her more feel safe and at ease. But her mother should have something to tell him but the alarm clock suddenly ringed, he got up from bed and was cramming for school.

After school he remembered the dream. He went to the tree house waiting and hoping for Hailey’sarrival. It was exactly the same with the dream. He went home after watching the sunset and her mother told him a bad news that Hailey’s gone. She never woke up when she closed her eyes the night when she wrote her letter to Lyle. Lyle was shocked and tears fell down his cheeks and wiped immediately with his fingers. They both headed to Hailey’s funeral that night. Hailey’s father handed Lyle a pieceof paper he saw on the top of her daughter’s study table. It was the letter Hailey wrote last night. He didn’t open the letter until he reached home. He sat for awhile thinking how young Hailey was taken from them. He looked unto his side where the letter is. He kept on reading it over and over carefully with tears in his eyes every night and couldn’t help but to cry himself to sleep.

 

#20FactsAboutMe

Posted on June 16, 2012 at 11:00 AM Comments comments (0)

20 Things You Don't Know About Me or You May Know But Not Sure

1. I hate it when I'm with my boyfriend and he texts because I get jealous too easily.

2. I hate it when he doesn't text or call me and when he replies after an hour or so. It makes me think of negative stuffs.

3. I have too much pride in myself, but when my relationship with him is at risk, I don't care swallowing my own pride. That's how much I love this guy.

4. I am good in bed, I can sleep 15 hours straight in a day.

5. I'm a frustrated writer, that's why I compensate by having my own site for my blogs.

6. McDonalds's cheese burger and upsized fries with additional iced coffee for a snack or for a peace offering will surely make my day.

7. I'm a frustrated actress and model.

8. I love making music videos.

9. One of my dreams is to play a piano but I never make it happen.

10. I can't sleep with the lights on and/or when someone is inside my room. I can't sleep without hugging my favorite pillow.

11. I hate it when I'm single, it makes me feel so alone and insecure. LoL!

12. When my haters start to annoy me, it makes me feel superior. They don't know that I love the attention they're giving to me. LoL!

13. Sometimes I hold a grudge especially when I'm so hurt that only cursing can ease the pain.

14. I'm too sensitive and easily annoyed when he does something wrong, even a little mistake can change my mood suddenly.

15. You can easily tell when I'm depressed, that's when I don't get out of my room the whole day. I'd rather sleep than thinking about stupid stuffs.

16. I try to find someone else when I have a fight with my boyfriend because I hate the feeling of being unattached to someone I get used with.

17. I don't have an average size of boobs and it makes me feel so insecure sometimes...Just sometimes, not at all times.

18. I have a serious attitude problem sometimes.

19. I'm shy in front of people I don't know. I'm loud and crazy in front of people I do know. I don't trust many people too easily.

20. I love singing and want to record but I just can't. LoL!

#10SongsILove

Posted on June 15, 2012 at 8:30 AM Comments comments (0)

My Top 10 Songs


1. Beauty and Madness by Fra Lippo Lippi but I love Jed Madela's version more, although FLL's version is good too. It's my all time favorite since I've heard this way back in high school. I was strucked by the lyrics and from then on, I started to love the song.

2. After All by Peter Cetera, this song seems made for my boyfriend and I. It tells our story. Too many break-ups and we still find each other after all.

3. My Soldier by AJ Rafael, whenever I hear this song it reminds me that I am strong as a soldier. That I may fall down but I bounce back to where I should be. Reminds me that although I am fragile, still I am resilient.

4. Kismet by Kamikazee, I made a video of this song. It's not really a video but a slideshow and dedicated to my boyfriend. This song seems made for me to tell how I feel about him. If you want to check the video out, click here.

5. Somebody by Depeche Mode, this song tells what kind of a man I am looking for and the one who I want to spend my whole life with...and now, I just found the one I this song is describing.

6. Long Distance by Bruno Mars, this song is my song for my boyfriend whenever we're miles apart from each other.

7. Because of You by Keith Martin, this song reminds me how he changed my life ever since he came into my life. I was a heartbreaker, a play girl, an alcoholic. Then he came into my life and he helped me realized how wonderful life is and helped me to bring out the best in me.

8. Collide by Howie Day, this song is just one of the songs that reminds me of him. This song says, "I finally find, you and I collide." Yes, we collided. We combined my name and his like this:

                        his name: Clyde + my name: Holly = Chollyde

is it perfectly fit for each other?

9. Maybe This Time by Michael Martin Murphy, we knew each other by face in high school but we were two strangers then. Until one day, we met in college and knew each other better and took the chance.

10. I'd Rather by Luther Vandross, I'll stick with him through thick and thin and no matter what the weather could be for as long as we're together.

Broken Again and Again

Posted on June 10, 2012 at 12:50 AM Comments comments (0)

Tonight, I am broken again

Tonight, I am crying again

Tonight, I feel so alone

Tonight, I feel worthless

I dialed all my friends' contact numbers but they don't seem bother to answer my call :(

GOD! What kind of test is this again?

Please send someone here to talk with, I badly need :(


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